Apr 2, 2021
Today I am so excited to have
Kwame Christian back on the show. Kwame was first on the show back
in July of 2020 in episode 107. There aren’t a lot of repeat guests
on the show because there are so many people out there I want to
talk to and share with you; I am constantly trying to find new
voices to bring on.
That being said, I had to have
Kwame back for a few reasons.
For one thing, we have become
friends over this past year and I know how much fun he is to talk
to and such a wealth of information. When he came on the show we
talked about having difficult conversations around race and
inequality, which was influenced by the Black Lives Matter
movement, the death of George Floyd, and other horrible events that
started coming to a greater light in spring 2020. While Kwame
quickly became a prominent voice in that space, it isn’t his main
focus or real area of genius. While prepping to have Kwame guest
lecture for a class I recently taught on internal
communication and change management at Texas
A&M, I saw that he
had a guide about using anchoring as a tool in negotiation and it
was a clear opportunity to have him back to talk about his truest
expertise – negotiation techniques.
- [00:06] In today’s episode I’m
so excited to have Kwame Christian back on the show, a rare repeat
guest, to talk about using anchoring in negotiations.
- [03:02] Kwame is the director
of the American Negotiation Institute and host of the #1
negotiation podcast in the world, Negotiate Anything, which has
over 2 million downloads in more than 180 countries.
- [05:27] At the American
Negotiation Institute they do negotiation trainings and business
- [08:30] Kwame has a background
- [08:47] Kwame’s philosophy for
life is that the best things in life are on the other side of
difficult conversations. His goal is to make these difficult
conversations easier so you can live the best version of your
- [09:04] Negotiation is a life
philosophy that we filter every life conversation through. He
thinks of every conversation in terms of a
- [11:39] There is a bias where
we think that negotiation has to be adversarial. It doesn’t need to
be that way.
- [12:00] Negotiation is any time
you are in a conversation and somebody in the conversation wants
something. The people that you negotiate with the most are the
people closest to you.
- [14:24] In every situation
somebody wants something even if it is just to be heard or
- [15:14] If you think of a
conversation as a negotiation then you are going to be more
explicit with your desires and invite the other person to share
what it is they want out of the interaction.
- [17:31] Any interaction (even
when money doesn’t exchange hands), you are still trying to
sell someone an idea that you need them to
buy in on.
- [18:06] Anchoring is the most
powerful negotiation technique. You should always try to use it in
- [18:31] Anchoring with the most
aggressive request that you can reasonably
- [21:02] If you have as much
information or more information then you make the first offer
because then you are in a position to create a competent anchor. If
you have less information then you let them make the first offer
and then you counter them.
- [22:56] There are some glaring
mistakes you can make if you anchor without having enough
- [25:08] We need to be able to
distinguish between rejection and resistance.
- [27:58] The things you say have
an impact. You want to calibrate that impact for maximum
- [29:57] Negotiation Genius talks about how to play defense when someone
else anchors you.
- [31:20] Anchoring plays a huge
role in our psychology and if we don’t recognize it we are going to
do things that have a subtle impact on the subconscious of the
person on the other side.
- [33:37] Negotiating the agenda
is one of the most important negotiations that does not
- [36:23] You have to be more
mindful about what you are trying to accomplish.
- [37:42] It is helpful to know
what the person you are negotiating with cares about
- [40:01] We have to ask
questions and learn as much as we can so that we can try to solve
the right problems.
- [40:44] Assertiveness is taken
differently depending on who you are. The way you frame something
may be different depending on your gender.
- [42:37] We have to play in the
world we live in, but we can be doing things on the side to try and
change them in the future.
- [43:19] Melina shares her
- [45:05] Melina’s first
book, What Your Customer
Wants and Can’t Tell You is officially on presale and available
on Amazon, Bookshop, Barnes
Book Depository, and Booktopia. Buy today and be one of the first to receive
a copy when it officially launches May 11, 2021.
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Book Depository, and Booktopia