Apr 8, 2022
Today I am so happy to have my
friend (and a great friend of The Brainy Business) Brian Ahearn
back on the show. Brian is a wealth of information and is the Chief
Influence Officer at Influence People. It has been almost 100 weeks
since Brian was on the show – which is kind of crazy to think
about. He was here in episode 104 talking about how to ethically
influence people and his first book, Influence PEOPLE.
Now he is here talking about his
third book, called The
Influencer, which came
out a couple of months ago. Today, Brian gives tips about
Cialdini’s 7 Principles of Persuasion, including some things to do
as well as common pitfalls to avoid. He also talks about how he
approached writing a business parable for this third book, and how
that was different from a traditional business book. Lots of great
insights await in this brainy episode!
- [00:41] Today I am so happy to
have my friend Brian Ahearn back on the show.
- [01:36] He is a Ted X presenter
who has more than 30 years of experience in the insurance
- [03:39] Brian shares his
background and what he does in this world of behavioral
- [05:33] Changing how people
think or feel about something isn’t usually enough–you need to get
them to change their behavior.
- [06:46] It is not about what we
think and how we feel. It is about how they think and feel.
- [09:16] Don’t tell, ask. Also,
say “Because…” and give a valid reason. That simple restructure is
going to get you what you need far more often.
- [11:46] The Principle of Liking
was something he learned the importance of through
- [12:37] It is not about us
getting someone to like us, it is about us utilizing those same
approaches to come to know and like them.
- [14:13] A lot of times, we
don’t know how thirsty we are until we take that first sip. (Giving
compliments to people who don’t get them often is like giving a
thirsty person water, it makes a huge impact.)
- [16:32] Life is a lot happier
when we are looking for the good in people and they are responding
positively to us.
- [17:41] Brian shares about his
three books and how they differ from each other.
- [19:09] His most recent book is
called The Influencer:
Secrets to Success and Happiness.
- [21:11] He shares that his
approach for his most recent book is much like his approach to
- [23:14] He shares how his first
two books were different from his most recent book.
- [25:49] Authority is really
important for speaking and training and a book helps create that
- [27:53] Brian summarizes
Cialdini’s 7 Principles of Persuasion: liking, reciprocity, unity,
authority, social proof, consistency, and scarcity.
- [30:14] Liking Tip: Don’t go
into a situation trying to get people to like you. Have the
mindset that you want to come to like the people you are
- [32:32] Scarcity Tip: Instead
of talking about all the positive reasons for doing business with
you, talk about what people give up for not doing business with
- [35:17] The value of ending
with a question can have a huge impact. (reframing!)
- [37:06] All of life and sales
is a long game. It is good to put the goodness out into the world
and in some way it will come back to you.
- [39:23] Brian shares the things
he is excited about and what he is working on.
- [42:17] Melina shares her
- [43:45] Melina’s top takeaways:
Don’t ask how you can get people to like you, instead find ways
that you can like other people. When you genuinely like people and
find things in common with them everything gets
- [44:46] If you enjoy the
experience I’ve provided here for you, will you share about it?
That could mean leaving a rating/review or sharing the episode with
a friend (or 10!)
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How To Ethically Influence People:
Interview with Author Brian Ahearn (episode 104)
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