Sep 28, 2023
Matt Abrahams, a leading expert in communication and a lecturer at Stanford University's Graduate School of Business, shares valuable insights on improving communication skills in spontaneous situations on The Brainy Business podcast hosted by Melina Palmer. In this episode, Abrahams discusses key strategies from his book, Think Faster, Talk Smarter, which focuses on helping individuals feel more comfortable and confident in impromptu speaking scenarios.
Abrahams draws from personal experiences and observations to develop his methodology. He highlights the challenges individuals face in speaking spontaneously and emphasizes the importance of confidence and commitment when responding. Through anecdotes and practical tips, Abrahams shows how anyone can enhance their communication skills in impromptu situations. Throughout the episode, Abrahams discusses the significance of active listening, reframing situations as opportunities, and effective structure in communication. He encourages individuals to embrace uncertainty, take risks, and prioritize listening over speaking. Abrahams' book offers practical steps and exercises to help listeners practice and refine their communication skills. Professionals seeking to improve their spontaneous speaking and communication skills–from presentations to job interviews to networking events–will find this episode insightful and actionable. Abrahams' expertise and relatable anecdotes make it a valuable resource for individuals looking to enhance their speaking abilities in spontaneous situations.
In this episode:
00:00:00 - Introduction,
In this episode, Melina Palmer welcomes Matt Abrahams, a leading
expert in communication and a lecturer at Stanford University's
Graduate School of Business. They discuss Matt's new book, Think
Faster, Talk Smarter, which focuses on speaking effectively and
confidently in spontaneous speaking situations.
00:03:10 - The Need for Spontaneous Speaking Skills,
Matt explains how his personal experiences and feedback from
students led to the development of his methodology for speaking
confidently in the moment. He emphasizes the importance of
spontaneous speaking skills in everyday communication.
00:05:23 - Overcoming Spontaneous Speaking Challenges,
Melina shares her own experience of struggling with spontaneous
speaking during a job interview. Matt tells a story about an
unexpected question he faced during an interview and how he turned
it into an opportunity to showcase his skills. The lesson is, even
when you are caught off guard, to connect to something and commit
to your response.
00:09:31 - Confidence and Commitment in Spontaneous Speaking,
Melina highlights the importance of confidence in spontaneous
speaking, as people can sense if you're not confident. Matt
explains that committing to your response, even if it's unexpected,
is crucial and draws parallels with the world of improvisation.
00:13:25 - Lessons from Improvisation,
Matt discusses the influence of improvisation on his methodology
and shares the principle of "failing big." He encourages speakers
to commit fully to their responses and not be afraid of failure, as
it can lead to unexpected successes.
00:15:24 - The Power of Getting Lost,
Matt Abrahams discusses the importance of getting lost and
embracing uncertainty in order to expand what's possible in
spontaneous situations. He explains how striving for control and
perfection can actually limit our potential, and how cognitive
bandwidth affects our performance.
00:16:25 - Striving for Mediocrity,
Abrahams encourages his students to strive for mediocrity in order
to achieve greatness. By focusing on getting things done rather
than judging and evaluating, individuals can have more resources to
perform well. He emphasizes the need to embrace uncertainty and
take risks.
00:17:43 - Allowing Yourself to Get Lost,
Abrahams explains the importance of allowing oneself to get lost
and try new things in order to broaden what's possible and stay
focused in the present moment. While it can be challenging,
embracing uncertainty can lead to rewarding outcomes.
00:18:42 - Overcoming the Fear of Average,
Melina shares a personal anecdote about feeling overwhelmed by
being graded on a curve in college. Matt highlights the concept
that from average, greatness can emerge, and emphasizes the need to
focus on personal growth rather than labeling ourselves with
grades.
00:20:04 - The Six Steps to Better Communication,
Abrahams outlines his six-step methodology for improving
communication, which includes managing anxiety, getting out of our
own way, reframing spontaneous speaking as an opportunity,
emphasizing the importance of listening, using structure, and
maintaining focus.
00:29:22 - The Value of Listening,
Matt discusses the importance of listening in conversations and the
benefits it brings to the listener. He explains that listening is a
muscle that needs to be strengthened and that good listeners help
speakers solve their problems instead of immediately jumping in
with solutions. He also emphasizes the need for space, pace, and
grace in listening.
00:30:58 - The Mindset of Listening,
Matt Abrahams shares insights from an interview with a listening
researcher, Guy Ichakov, who highlights the mindset of a good
listener. He explains that a good listener's job is to help the
speaker solve their problem, rather than trying to solve it
themselves. Abrahams reflects on his own tendency to jump into
problem-solving mode and actively works on adopting a listening
mindset.
00:32:21 - The Power of Structures in Communication,
Matt Abrahams discusses the importance of using structures or
frameworks in communication to help organize and prioritize
information. He introduces the "Swiss Army Knife" structure of
three simple questions: What? So what? Now what? This structure
helps in formulating clear and concise messages that are easy for
the audience to understand.
00:35:51 - Preparing for Spontaneous Conversations,
Matt Abrahams explains the irony of being able to prepare for
spontaneous conversations. He compares it to jazz musicians
following certain chords and patterns, or athletes training
specific behaviors to respond spontaneously in a game. Abrahams
emphasizes the value of frameworks and structures in preparation,
using an example of three simple questions.
00:40:01 - Conclusion,
Melina's top insights from the conversation. What stuck with you
while listening to the episode? What are you going to try? Come
share it with Melina on social media -- you'll find her as
@thebrainybiz everywhere and as Melina Palmer on LinkedIn.
Thanks for listening. Don’t forget to subscribe on Apple Podcasts or Android. If you like what you heard, please leave a review on iTunes and share what you liked about the show.
Let’s connect:
Learn and Support The Brainy Business:
Check out and get your copies of Melina’s Books.
Get the Books Mentioned on (or related to) this Episode:
Connect with Matt:
Top Recommended Next Episode: Focusing Illusion (episode 330)
Already Heard That One? Try These:
Other Important Links:
Brainy Bites - Melina’s LinkedIn Newsletter