Nov 22, 2022
Today’s episode is all about
reciprocity, one of my very favorite concepts and approaches to
life and business. For me, it is natural to give first and I enjoy
being generous. I don’t recall the specific names of the love
languages, but nurturing relationships is something that matters a
lot to me (or whatever they call it) and would definitely be one of
I have seen time and time again
how this comes back so much bigger when you give first and don’t
just do it to get stuff in return.
Life and business are a long
game. It is so much better to be giving and generous up front and
know that things will work out and take care of you eventually.
This is also why I had last week’s refreshed episode about the
brainy benefits of gratitude and why I always talk about
reciprocity around the holidays and why this episode, which
originally aired as number 23 of the podcast, was an obvious choice
for me to refresh for you today. This is also leading into Friday’s
brand new episode which will look at nonprofits and how generosity
and giving and behavioral economics are the same and different when
we step outside the typical customer/company relationship and into
charitable giving. Now…let’s dig in on reciprocity (which is much
more than just free gifts).
- [00:39] Today’s episode is all
about reciprocity, one of my very favorite concepts and approaches
to life and business.
- [01:21] Life and business are a
long game. It is so much better to be giving and generous up front
and know that things will work out and take care of you
- [02:49] Reciprocity is what
happens when someone gives you something (whether you want it or
not, whether you value it or not) and you feel obligated to give
them something in return.
- [04:03] Melina shares one of
her favorite examples of reciprocity from The Big Bang
- [05:44] Our brains tend to
overvalue the gifts we are given and compensate in a way that
exceeds the value of the original gift.
- [08:42] The gift of kindness
and a little effort goes a long way.
- [09:20] Reciprocity presents
itself in many ways but there are three categories: the free gift,
the small ask on the path to something bigger, and the big ask to
get something more realistic.
- [09:44] The free gift is a
little something that is given freely and helps make you a little
more endearing in the eyes of the
- [12:37] Another way to give out
free gifts is with samples.
- [15:17] Reciprocity and free
gifts are often used when asking for donations.
- [17:44] Other examples of free
gifts are sales or discounts.
- [19:05] Discounts will often
cost you more so use them sparingly and with a lot of
- [22:16] Be of service to other
people; reciprocity is a key reason
- [22:55] The next category of
reciprocity is a small ask to get something
- [25:56] What is the gift you
can give that can encourage businesses to donate later? What you
want to do is ask for them to perform a small and simple task they
are unlikely to refuse. Then when you come back for a donation they
are more likely to say yes.
- [28:47] Getting someone to say
yes once to something small increases the likelihood that they will
say yes again.
- [30:06] In the last category
you start with a big, ridiculous, or even unreasonable ask to make
the thing you actually want to ask for seem more reasonable and
appealing by comparison.
- [30:57] Melina shares about a
study on a university campus asking for
- [34:38] If you are going to use
the big-then-small tactic it should be the same person both times
and you should do them really close together. One obvious place to
use this tactic is in negotiations of any kind.
- [36:06] Melina shares a story
about setting rates and pricing.
- [39:02] Melina’s closing
Thanks for listening. Don’t
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